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Wednesday, October 16th, 2013
5:18 pm - Wow!
I would say "time flies," but in actuality, everything is as it should be. So that's that. How are you, world?

This past year has been one of the strangest, for me.
I was doing things that were out of character. Things I should have not been doing. Sure, things are better now.
I've had very detailed dreams the past two nights. Dreams that capture moments of my past and a distorted future. Dreams that give you that funny feeling when you wake up, like you're in some world you aren't supposed to be in. *T&M*

I have been trying planning to go to the beach for the last 11 Sundays, but it doesn't quite come to pass. Perhaps this Sunday I will make it out to my solo dinner on the shore and then for a sublime stroll with a festive autumn beverage in hand.

Until next time, you. Muah!

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Sunday, May 13th, 2007
9:08 am
I'm really sad. that feeling when everything in your life is ripped away and you're left standing there without anything to hold onto...thats the feeling i have

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Tuesday, January 10th, 2006
12:58 pm - ouch
I can't seem to get this sad feeling out of my system. I hate the way I feel right now and I don't think there is anything I can do about it.

current mood: sad

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Monday, November 7th, 2005
10:49 pm - swang to tha left!
ohmygoodnessgracious! Could time be going by any faster? jeezum. Well. Yah. JAILBIRD! haha. 11.11.1985. 11.11.2005. DAAAAAAAAAAMN.

current mood: geeky

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Monday, September 19th, 2005
6:24 pm - just thinking of you
jeezum. My life is full of...obsessions right now. So many, so many. I saw Green Day live. absoeffinglutely amazing. Ha. I was so sexed in the city last night. It's fantastic how a simple trip to the grocery store can turn into such a tv show moment. My cell phone has been ringing all day and i have gladly ignored almost every call. I really am maturing, no matter what they say. The managers meeting today made me realize that I really am 19. Is it normal for me to feel so much older than 19? Why is growing up happening so fast? I feel as though I don't have time for breathing it all in. The moon is pretty for us tonight. If two people don't want the same things, is it even worth trying to compromise? Or come to an agreement? Honestly, who has time for games? With things moving so fast in life and all. The wedding! It was beautiful. Jackie, Nick, and I all had a grand time. An open bar. seeing old friends? making out with 2 good friends. endless glasses of champagne and wine [and 2 b. lites]. Riding in the backseat of a smooth BMW. sleeping in soft-as-feather beds. Not worrying about anything but the moment. Sometimes I think my fun is to fun.

current mood: relaxed

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Thursday, August 4th, 2005
12:01 pm - i've seen more guts in 11 year old kids
Jaaaaaaaaaaaaack Johnson. too bad he's married. things are happy right now. I love happy smiles. those fun sincere smiles. they are grand. and as the summer comes to a close, i would like to say "wow"... to an interesting summer indeed. I love my best friend.
Always and Forever

current mood: calm

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Tuesday, June 28th, 2005
4:40 pm - if i saw you in heaven
Soooo...I went to HAWAII for 2 very chill weeks and I am home. and tan. and yah. I seriously went to the beach E V E R Y D A Y. it was grand. YAY for hawaii. So out of the blue beaches I have been to [Mexico, Bahamas, California, FLORIDA, and now Hawaii]...I think Florida still wins. K. 4th of July is next monday! YES for favorite holiday #2!!!!!!!!! My best girl is coming to be with me. yesssssssssss! I did something i said i would never do. And i will tell noone else. A boyfriend by next monday. It's on.

current mood: tired

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Tuesday, June 7th, 2005
2:35 am - running over the same old ground
I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Sunday, May 15th, 2005
10:53 am - who's gonna come around when you break?
WOOOOOOOOOOO! That's the only thing that makes sense...ha. I'm glad things are the way they are right now. Of course things could always be better. But, ya knoooo, ya knooo. I'm excited about how He has great things in store. Everything will be GRAND. I'll just end up walking in the cold November rain.

also, I really love Jackie. I'm glad she is my best friend.

current mood: optimistic

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Thursday, May 5th, 2005
9:15 pm - someday i'll wish upon a star
I haven't been this stressed out in so long...since San Antonio. And I'm sick. How perfect. I know the core reason for all of this. I really do. and it makes me so beyond sad. I wish, I wish, I wish...things were'nt the way they are right now. Overwhelmed doesnt even begin to explain.

on a happier note. I will be in Hawaii soon.

current mood: and sick

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Friday, April 29th, 2005
10:50 pm - and then there was none
I'm done. Honestly. K.

current mood: BLAAAH!

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Wednesday, April 20th, 2005
3:07 am - give me a break! [from homework]
the first:

1. First best friend: Melissa
2. First car: F-150 [that was alll mine]
3. First real kiss: Mathew Estrada
4. First break-up: Philip K.
5. First screen name: ABG111185
6. First funeral: Uncle Willie.
7. First pets: hmmm...black cat. Winston
8. First piercing: Ears
9. First big trip: road trip to california when i was a youngin

The lasts:

1. Last cigarette: I don't remember
2. Last car ride: comin home from the corner store a few hrs ago
3. Last kiss: !!!!!!!!!!
4. Last good cry: its been awhile
5. Last movie seen in theatres: Amityville Horror, last friday
6. Last beverage drank: V8 splash
7. Last food consumed: fruit special?
8. Last crush: David..
9. Last phone call: Carlos
10. Last time showered: this morning
11. Last shoes worn: my black flip flops of course


1. Do you do drugs?: not on a daily basis ;)
2. What kind of shampoo do you use?: lately...Matrix
3. What are you most scared of?: having too many regrets
4. What are you listening to right now?: Lion King sndtrk
6. How many buddies are online?: i dunno. i hate IM
7. What would you change about yourself?: hmm...dunno


1. Color: purple, red
2. Food: sandwiches [seafood]
3. Animals: polar bears, koala bears
4. Sports: baseball.

Have you ever:

1. Given anyone a bath? yes
2. Smoked? Yes
3. Bungee jumped? No.
4. Made yourself throw up? yes. it was for the best
5. Skinny-dipped? Yes.
6. Been in love? ehhh...
7. Made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: nah.
8. Seen your crush naked? :D
9. Cried when someone died? Yeah.
10. Lied? sometimes.
11. Fallen for your best friend? nah.
12. Been rejected? by your dad.
13. Rejected someone? yesssssss.
14. Used someone? yes.
15. Done something you regret? of course.

Last person:

1. you touched? carlos
2. Hugged? carlos.
3. You instant messaged? david

Are you:

1. Understanding? YES.
2. Open-minded? YES.
3. Interesting? i'd like to think so.
4. Hungry? always.
5. Smart? probably not.
6. Moody? possibly.
7. Hardworking? haha, noooo.
8. Organized? Noooo.
9. Healthy? kinda.
10. Shy? not most of the time.
11. Attractive? ehhhh...
12. Bored easily? no way.
13. Responsible? of course not.
14. Hyper? Sometimes.
15. Trusting? Yes.
16. Talkative? Yes.
17. Legal? not legal enough.

Whom do you want to:

1. Look like? myself?
2. Talk to offline? him
3. Talk to online? him
4. Hang out with? right now...nick

Which is better:

1. Coke or Pepsi: negative on the pop
2. Flowers or candy: Flowers
3. Tall or short: Tall
4. Liquor or beer? ohhh...bourbon w/ a splash of coke or bud light


1. What do you notice first: smile.
2. Last person you danced with: nick.
3. Who makes you laugh the most? gus.
4. Who makes you smile: everyone. [david]
5. Who do you have a crush on: everyone
6. Who has a crush on you: ehhh...

Do you ever:

1. Save conversations: if it was a good one.
2. Wish you were a member of the opposite sex?: uhhmm..sure.
3. Wish you were younger: yes.
4. Cry because someone said something to you: No.


1. Of guys I've kissed: damn. a lot. i need more than 2 hands.
2. Of continents I have lived in: 1
3. Of tight friends: hmmm...enough
4. Of CDs I own: never counted..
5. Of scars on body: a lot! im such a goofball.

nothings gonna change my world. ive seriously led an...INTERESTING life so far...i mean DAMN! haha. holler atcha gurl!

current mood: indifferent

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Saturday, April 16th, 2005
1:22 pm - her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
Hi. I'm home by myself right now. That's funny. I had such an odd dream last night. I really hope everything works out. For everything. I had a brownie and a slice of carrot cake from the House of Pies last night. Can we say delish? DELISH! swimming in 35345231414 degrees below zero isn't too smart. As long as it's fun though...I wonder why i'm so weird about certain things. i DO get inspired by movies. Inspired in a good way. Not in a crazy way. Completely good. And only on certain movies that make me realize. I saw the Amityville Horror [remake] last night. My stud shall stay. For now. It caused me pain. Tears. So therefore, I will give it a chance. There was a time you let me know...
I didn't get any mail today. That's okay. Maybe next time....maybe. I'm sad the semester is coming to a close. I like the school year. Makes me feel productive. Even though I will be in summer school. Still. Psh
I will call you.


current mood: scared

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Tuesday, April 5th, 2005
11:21 pm - you heifer monkey
I was going to update but I then I lost interest :D K.

current mood: calm

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Thursday, March 31st, 2005
12:17 am - i would cross the endless sea
I honestly cannot find the words to explain exactly how I feel. I'm really not where I want to be in life. Everytime I'm driving, I'm so tempted to not come home...and drive anywhere [FLORIDA]. Everything inspires me. The sadness has come over me [for the billionth time today. and the day before. and the day before that.]

someone told me he loves me.....AHHHHHHHHHHH :D
and i didnt even make him fall in love. i have charm? ha!

ohhhhhhhhh anna banana. what to do, what to do

i am independently happy

current mood: oh...the thoughts

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Saturday, March 12th, 2005
1:24 am - but just for you, i'll bite my tongue
my nose feels really tingly [heehee]. So the long awaited spring break is finally here. Yessssssssss. I think i may build a cake or sometheen. No Bahamas this year, but thats alright because I'm me and i can have fun anywhere. My brother turned 18 yesterday which means I am officially getting old. Jeezum. I really should hurry and make my decision for the fall semester. I make such a big deal out of everything. I feel as though I have so much to say but can't get it out all in this little window. Why is everyone from my past calling me? Sometimes it's for the best to just let it all go. Right? Thinking about everything that I need to be doing and am not doing gives me a headache. and i never get headaches. I use I so many times. In all my entries. It would be awesome if I could have someone in my life make all my decisions. Last Saturday night was not very pretty. House parties and pool halls. I enjoy chill nights more than out nights. I'm sleepy.

Spring break biaaaaas. [i'll let you know how everything goes down]

You should hear me sing along with Natalie Cole. [it's grand]

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

current mood: silly goose!

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Friday, March 4th, 2005
10:56 pm - just kenneth cole black it
1. Time now: 10.56pm

2. Name as it appears on birth certificate: Annamaria Blanca Gonzales [dont
even get me started]

3. Nicknames: Anna Banana, Anna Mae

4. Piercing: 7...used to be 8 =/

5. What is the most recent movie you've seen in the
theater? Million Dollar Baby

6. Eye color: daaaaaaaark brown

7. Place of birth: Houston, Texas

8. Favorite Food: all kinds

9. Ever been to Africa? Negative

10. Ever toilet papered: yuuuup

11. Love someone so much it made you cry: yes

12. Been in a car accident: Yes

13. Anchovies: sometimes

14. Favorite day of the week: thursday

15. Favorite restaurants: Mmmmm...i dunno? Pappadeaux/Pappasitos

16. Favorite sport to watch: beisbol

18. Favorite drink: water or bourbon w/ a splash of coke

19. Favorite ice cream: Blue Bell Cookies and Cream!

20. Favorite movie: West Side Story

21. Favorite fast food restaurant: oh maaann...JIB or Long John Silver

22. What color is your bedroom carpet: orangish brownish

23. How many times did you fail your driver's test: 0! werd

24. Which store would you choose to max out your
credit card: Express...

25. What do you do most often when you are bored: sleep or watch a movie

26. Bedtime: all kinds of random hours

27. Favorite TV shows: My Sweet 16, South Park

28. Last person you went to dinner with: Danielle and Romeo

29. Favorite make of Car: psshhh...i dont know

30. What are you listening to: a random anna mix...Nat king cole

31. What is your favorite color: purple. kinda. no fav really

32. Lake, Ocean or river: Ocean

33. How many tattoos do you have: 0

34. Time you finished this: 11.03pm

...that was weird. Ha! I find myself laughing like Chelsea sometimes. weird! ha. My boyfriend wrote me a poem. He roooooooooocks. It's Friday night...and I just woke up. WOOOOO!!! I secretly love not going out on the weekends. I got 2 new shirts yesterday. All I do is buy shirts. Thats so weird. It's like an obsession...Just random shirts. I love Rod Stewart. Oh man oh man how i should be in Jacksonville this weeekend. Booooo. Well, i am now off to drop it like its hott. see ya there.

<333333321 annnnnna

P.S. i'm such a sap sometimes. I really like my boyfriend so much. He makes me smile more than anyone. And that means a lot

current mood: calm

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Tuesday, February 15th, 2005
11:26 pm - i miss you
i bite my nails all the time now. i need to get cuted up before the third week in march rolls around. mexico or germany this summer? my parents think i have a problem. along with the rest of the crib. i wish i wish i wish. i really don't enjoy that game much anymore. how can i make my parents understand that i'm not where i need to be? i lost my updating mood. I'm happy with things. For the most part. Certain people and things make me happy. yaaaaah. I have more than most people. Less than some. I'm doing okaaaay. All the deep breaths and closing my eyes really do help

current mood: anxious

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Wednesday, February 9th, 2005
8:52 am - --siiiiigh--
I really want to go to Bonnaroo...I think I may have to. So June 6th-7th, you'll know where to find me. I really need to see my main music makers as well. So, March 6th, you know where I'll be also. Or do you? ha. Tennessee and Florida. yah.

I dont know what to do. I dont know if this thing that I'm in is what I should be in. It's not...me. Seriously, I really do have a problem. I do this to myself all the time. It can't be normal.

I'm losing everything that I care about. My life has become a nothing filled with lots of little somethings

Jack really does help me feel better. Thats important.

But everybody thinks that everybody knows. What a waste of worry. You should know by now.

I really do miss it all.

current mood: sad

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Sunday, January 30th, 2005
10:29 pm - estoy clavado en un bar
Seven things in your room:

1. bed[s]
2. computer
3. TV
4. junk...
5. a chair
6. a tall shelf
7. a really cuddly polar bear

Top seven things you say most:

1. shut up!
2. that's happy
3. i'm sorry
4. definetely
5. totally
6. i knoooow
7. i miss you

Do You:

Smoke? ick. naaaah
Do drugs? sometimes
Read the newspaper? not much
Pray? all the time
Have a Job? multiple jobs
Attend Church? yup

Have you ever:

Been in love? perhaps
Gone skinny dipping? i'd say yes
Had surgery? nah
Swam in the dark? yup
Been to a Bonfire? yup
Been drunk? very drunk
Ran away from home? ehhh...kinda. not really...no
Played strip poker? yup
Gotten beaten up? yah right
Beaten someone up? of course
Been on stage? multiple times
Slept outdoors? several times
Pulled an all nighter? constantly
Been on radio/tv? yup
Been in a mosh-pit? of course
Do you have any gay/lesbian friends? quite a few in fact
Coffee? MMMMMMM.
Cologne/Perfume? Kenneth Cole Black

In the last 24 Hours have you...

Cried? yes
Bought something? yup
Gotten sick? heck yah. this massive cough is killer
Sang? obviously
Been kissed? YES
Felt stupid? always!
Talked to an ex? yup
Talked to someone you have a crush on? yessss
Missed someone? yes
Hugged someone? yes

I didn't go to the Cirque Du Soleil. That's okay. Everything happens for a reason. I will go. By myself [or with Tony] if I have to. At least I got to spend time with David. That's always really extremely happy. I miss him so much already. Why does he have to be so great?...and live 170 miles away. I asked my mom if I could have a boyfriend who lived in another city and she said "long distance relationships never work out." lol. I was just curious as to what she would say. So then I obviously brought up Jackie and Michael. and other random people. whatever. I was cleaning my dresser infested with old mail and papers earlier, and I found that they all smell like Ralph Lauren Blue. That made me smile. Oh. It's tax time. That's always exciting. I'm excited for spring break. I love wearing my swimsuits everywhere. I'm glad that I'm maturing. and not caring what everyone thinks. And i'm glad that I dont have to talk to my best friend [or boyfriend] every 5 seconds, and i know that they are both still there for me. I'm glad that I'm not embarassed to hold hands and hug and kiss and be extremely cheesy in public. I'm glad that the waitresses at IHOP are so nice. LOL. I'm glad that I didn't die last night and even though I wouldnt tell David what exactly happened, he hugged me and told me everything was going to be alright. I'm glad I have a boyfriend who will hang out with me when I ask him to at 3.30 in the morning. I'm glad that I have a boyfriend who always finds my hand. I'm glad that I always find things to be glad about. So much to be thankful for. Really Really. and this is ANNAMARIA BLANCA signing off.


p.s. [be glad] =D

current mood: thankful

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